How parents can encourage their children to use positive coping skills.
How Parents Can Encourage Their Child to Use Coping Skills
Coping skills are positive strategies that help people manage strong emotions, navigate challenging situations, and build healthy relationships with others. Encouraging your child to use coping skills can make a big difference in their emotional development. Here are some ways you, as a parent, can help:
Model Healthy Coping: Children often learn by example. When you face stress or tough emotions, show your child how you cope in a healthy way—whether it's taking deep breaths, going for a walk, or talking things through with someone. This teaches them that it's okay to feel upset and that there are positive ways to manage those feelings. Don’t have healthy ways of coping? This may be an area where you seek additional guidance and support. Modeling is one of the most powerful ways that children learn.
Make Coping Skills Fun: Sometimes kids are more willing to use coping skills if they’re presented in a fun, engaging way. For example, you could make breathing exercises into a game, or turn journaling into an art project. Let them explore what works for them and encourage creativity in finding solutions.
Start with Conversations: Create a safe space for your child to talk about their feelings. Ask open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling today?” or “What helps you feel better when you’re upset?” This opens the door for them to share their thoughts and gives you a chance to introduce coping strategies they might not have considered.
Praise and Reinforce Positive Efforts: Whenever your child uses a coping skill, even if it’s small, acknowledge their effort. Praise their ability to handle emotions in a healthy way, which helps build their confidence and motivation to keep using these skills. Simply stating “I noticed you paused when you were angry” is a great way to bring more awareness to the use of the coping skill.
Encourage Regular Practice: Like any skill, coping mechanisms improve with practice. Encourage your child to practice coping skills even when they're not upset—such as doing a few deep breaths during calm moments. This makes it easier for them to use those skills when they really need them. For people to be able to access a skill during heighted emotions, it must be practiced when a person is in their calm or baseline state.
Make It a Routine: Just like brushing teeth or doing homework, make coping skills a regular part of your child’s routine. For example, set aside time each day for activities like mindfulness or journaling. Consistency helps normalize these practices.
Offer Choices: Kids are more likely to engage in coping skills if they feel they have control. Let them choose from a variety of coping strategies, such as "Do you want to take some deep breaths or draw for a few minutes?" Giving them the power to choose helps them feel empowered.
Be Patient and Supportive: Learning to use coping skills takes time, and it’s okay if your child doesn’t always remember to use them. Be patient, offer gentle reminders, and celebrate their progress. Let them know that it’s okay to have difficult emotions, and practicing coping skills will get easier over time.
By consistently supporting your child in learning and using coping skills, you help them build a toolkit for managing stress and emotions that will serve them well throughout their life.